Just another 4 letter word

I woke up from my sleep in this feeling. There’s beauty in darkness too. You need the eye.
“The excruciating sharp stabs right through the eye that is so in pain that it has gone numb. I couldn’t even blink to avoid seeing the attack come right in. Love was a lie! A well dressed luring lie that takes you in without leaving any room for prep. Love is nothing but a bait. When u hurt me once, I know you will come back with a bigger blow but love keeps me doped fully aware yet fully oblivious of the axe that comes in to cut me half, letting a part of me hang just enough to let me feel. Pain is such a small word to explain the feeling of that warm strangely calming extreme chill that is so numbing I almost want it to stay.
There’s comfort in pain, its definite, permanent, loyal and reliable. It keeps you more aware and awake than ecstasy. I’m sure I’m alive coz it hurts like death is just a moment away and the moment is infinite. It is that pitch darkness which has a deafening silence and a promise of permanence. It is the abysses in me that make for the proofs of my existence.
I need to express to let it out, to make you a part to my abyss, to give you my true love, my bait. Game on!”