The Ordinary 28th May

There are days when you wake up to a feeling of gleaming brightness and a smell of euphoria. Those are the days of joy and excitement and zest. There’s sparkles by the end of such days. Some days the sparkle is black and grey too but mostly its gold and silver. And its alright as long as it’s sparkle and there’s reflection of light for that is the proof of presence of light. And I’m good in light. I’m light in light.

And then there’s the 28th of May. There’s nothing wrong in the day. Atleast nothing’s visibly gloomy or inapt. But it’s the 28th of May. The middle of everything. Just half way done, half more to go. Half way ahead of the good times and half way behind. Lazy birds have lost their chirp. Even the dogs aren’t chasing cars. There’s dust and dry leaves and sweaty brows. There’s heaviness in the air that weighs all will down. I did turn to memory for some inspiration but today even memory failed me. I’m empty. And when memory is blank I can’t turn to imagination I’m sure. It will unnecessarily tire me so I’ll keep still. I will conserve. I will hold on to love and hatred both. This is such an insignificant day that I’ll bottle up even the unpleasant. Today I’d not be at the movies. I won’t be gone for holiday either. I won’t play or sing or dance or sleep. I wont waste anything on this day.

There’s cruel heat, missed deadlines and inertia that air-conditioning, action and sleep doesn’t cure. No one’s coming! No one’s leaving. There is no change in sight. It’s the day where I don’t look ahead from. I have had these general emotions around the middle of the year always but this time I can point my finger at this specific day. I know the effects of this eclipse of joy will start to wither as the day changes. Come June 1, it’ll all be livable. Though it’ll be hotter and the days will be longer but somehow it will be better. My insides will be better. When I look at it objectively it seems solvable. Next year maybe I’ll skip this day and wake up on the 29th. I shall keep all little bits of life still wherever they are and hold on to my breath until the next day. Still is better. It might not be progressive but it doesn’t make life worse either.

So I’m still. No even waiting because there’s thought investment in that too.