I Fly

On a bright Saturday noon, I climb up the terrace of our 14 floor building. Right up till the edge I go. Stand with my feet firm, slowly raising my arms to get them at shoulder level.. without looking down, I look straight up.. to the horizon. Far away across other high rise buildings, big and small structures, way past the roads and cars and their honks, I see the horizon.

One deep breath of air and then I exhale. All the sounds of humming and buzzing and honking are fading away. All I can hear is my own heart pumping.. loud but stable, and then my attention goes to my face… my lips twitch a little and I smile and then I scream my lungs out. Bending slightly to still keep balance on my feet, taking the arms to the back. The last thing I notice before closing my eyes is the blue pool underneath and my focus for a moment shifts to a child who was swimming but now had stopped to look up wondering what was happening. I stop screaming and wave at him with a big grin. Don’t think he can see my face.

And then I look up finally with my feet still on the terrace wall.. I look up and almost like a bird move my arms up and down twice and then I take off.. No fear.. Im flying.. I’m light, one with the birds.. one with the breeze. The kid in the pool is aghast it seems.. but I don’t mind.. He will come to terms with things later… He may remember me for this one thing.. I flew. Right in front of him..

He is still looking as I cross over the other buildings and these concrete structures suddenly start to tremble and crumble.. They crumble away to dust.. One after another as if by the weight of my flight.. And I am still smiling; the fear had gone much before this day and it was replaced by this feeling of calm. Calm at the realisation that life was more than fear and grief and longing and expectations and achievements and money and houses and cars and successes and failures. It was more than the fear to die one day.. it was more than the fear of losing your loved ones. It was more than asking for love and respect. Life is this, the present; where I fly without knowing where it’ll lead me. Life is knowing you’ll be remembered, by your few loved ones, by people who’d wonder why. I have done what I had to do. There is no turning back.

Life is loving.. without the expectation of being loved back.

Life is this.

Life is now!

For the first time I’m alive. And even if this doesn’t go on for long, I’m happy for have taken the leap.

I’ll be back.. in some form, in some shape, in some being. I’ll be back and then I’ll fly again!

 

“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?” 
― Rumi